How many times have you been called stubborn? I’ve personally lost count.

But is that a bad thing? The answer is it depends. 

Are we standing our ground for something we believe in, or simply digging our heals in the ground for the sake of it.

Knowing when and when not to be stubborn is key. 

“Stubbornness is not firmness. Stubbornness is stupidity.” – Sophocles

Is Stubbornness Good or Bad? 

When Stubbornness Helps

It Drives Persistence

Being stubborn can push you to achieve goals others might abandon. It’s that grit that gets sh*t done when the going gets tough.

Tip: Channel It Wisely

Use your stubbornness to stay committed to your goals, not to ignore valuable feedback. Read “Grit” by Angela Duckworth to learn how persistence pays off.

When Stubbornness Hurts

It Blocks Growth

Holding onto your old ways can blind you from better options. You’re not always right, and that’s okay.

Tip: Practice Open-Mindedness

Steven Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” highlights the importance of seeking first to understand, then to be understood.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy

Ever kept at something just because you’ve invested so much already? That’s the sunk cost fallacy screwing with your head.

Tip: Know When to Let Go

Cutting your losses isn’t failure; it’s smart. “Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman dives deep into this psychological trap.

The Balance: Assertiveness vs. Stubbornness

Understanding the Difference

Being assertive is standing up for yourself; being stubborn is refusing to consider others.

Tip: Develop Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence can help you assert yourself without being a nob.

Key Takeaways

• Stubbornness can be strength or stupidity—know the difference.
• Be persistent, not closed-minded—stay open to new information.
• Avoid the sunk cost fallacy—don’t throw good time after bad.
• Practice emotional intelligence—assert yourself without being inflexible.
• Adaptability is key—flexibility leads to growth.

Bottom Line

Stubbornness isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s all about how you use it. So check yourself: are you standing firm for the right reasons, or just standing in your own way?

Resources

• 📕 “Grit” by Angela Duckworth – Master persistence without losing perspective.
• 📕 “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey – Improve your interpersonal skills.
• 📕 “Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman – Understand your own cognitive biases.
• 📕 “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman – Enhance your ability to navigate social complexities.