Hugging is one of the simplest yet most powerful forms of human connection.
Whether you’re trying to attract someone, build a bond, ease tensions, or boost your mood—hugging is scientifically proven to help in ways you might not have realized.
The lack of genuine physical contact is affecting our relationships, happiness, and health. As someone who felt awkward for years just looking at people, let alone touching them, let me explain how and why starting to hug more has had a profound impact on my life.
⚡ Fast Fact: Hugging for 20 seconds or more releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” boosting feelings of trust and bonding.
My Experience
“How can I hug people if I can’t even look at them?” That was my thought not so long ago. I avoided getting physically close to most people and realized how much I was missing out on something special.
Recently, I started to get a little brave and began hugging more—and honestly, I can’t recommend it enough. Now, I’m no expert hugger (just yet), but I’ll share what I’ve learned so far so you can start introducing more hugs into your life too.
“Sometimes, a hug is all you need to let someone know they matter.”
Why Hugging Can Be Challenging and How to Overcome It
The Fear of Appearing Weak
Some people think hugging and cuddling are for wimps—but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve spoken with many women, and few things are more appealing than when a man embraces her with a confident hug. She’ll feel safe and protected.
Fix: Redefine Strength
Showing affection doesn’t make you weak. Embrace the strength in vulnerability.
Awkwardness and Inexperience
If hugging isn’t part of your routine, it can feel awkward as hell. You might worry about overstepping boundaries or looking silly. This was a problem for me.
Fix: Practice Makes Comfortable
Start with people you’re close to. A quick, friendly hug can go a long way. The more you do it, the less weird it feels.
Emotional Barriers
We build walls to protect ourselves, but those same walls keep others out.
Fix: Lower the Walls
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Read up on emotional intelligence and consider talking to someone if you find this particularly challenging.
The Science Behind Hugging
Hugs aren’t just feel-good fluff—they have real, tangible benefits backed by science:
- Boosts Oxytocin: The “bonding hormone” that makes you feel closer and more connected.
- Reduces Stress: Lowers cortisol levels, helping you and the other person feel calmer.
- Enhances Mood: Releases endorphins, giving you a natural high.
- Improves Heart Health: Reduces blood pressure and improves cardiovascular function.
Applying This to Your Life
In Dating
Being able to respectfully touch your date plays a key role in attraction. Hugging is the best icebreaker. On your first date, greet her with a short, confident hug and perhaps a sincere compliment while maintaining eye contact: “You look amazing, by the way.”
This single action does three things:
- Establishes Touch: Initiates physical connection from the start.
- Compliment Makes Her Feel Good: Boosts her mood.
- Eye Contact Shows Confidence: Demonstrates self-assurance.
In Romantic Relationships
Physical touch is a love language. Holding your partner close can deepen your connection more than words ever could. I discovered this far too late which might explain many of the conflicts I had in past relationships.
Try cuddling your missus for at least 20 seconds a day, and actually mean it. Embrace and enjoy. Your bodies will release oxytocin, making you both feel more connected.
Sounds gay? F*ck off, it’s beautiful! 😉
At Work
While professionalism is key, appropriate gestures like a firm handshake are standard. However, at social events or after-work gatherings, a friendly hug goodbye can help build rapport and trust, enhancing your work relationships.
With Friends & Family
Don’t underestimate the power of a good hug. Try to do this more—especially with close family. You never know when it will be the last time you get to hug that person, so make it count.
How to Hug Right
Not all hugs are created equal. Here’s how to master the perfect hug:
- Read the Room: Gauge the situation and the other person’s comfort level.
- Be Confident: Approach with assurance—hesitation kills the vibe.
- Keep it Appropriate: A good hug is meaningful, not lingering and awkward.
- Use Open Body Language: Stand tall, keep your arms relaxed, and make eye contact.
Common Hugging Mistakes
Avoid these pitfalls to ensure your hugs are always welcome:
- Overhugging: More isn’t always better. Know when to stop.
- Awkward Timing: Don’t force a hug if it doesn’t feel right.
- Ignoring Cues: If they pull away, respect their space immediately.
When to Skip the Hug
Sometimes, a hug isn’t the answer. Know when to hold back:
- Professional Settings: Keep it appropriate to avoid crossing boundaries.
- Uncomfortable Situations: If it feels forced or awkward, opt for a handshake instead.
- Cultural Differences: Respect diverse norms and preferences regarding physical touch.
- If You’re Sweating: Nobody wants to get wet, so don’t do that 😂
Key Takeaways
- Hugging boosts emotional and physical well-being.
- Overcome societal norms that discourage affection.
- Use hugs to strengthen relationships and attract others.
- Practice hugging to become more comfortable and confident.
Bottom Line
Hug more. That’s all.
Resources
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
- Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
- Research on oxytocin and human connection