Here’s a list of breathing techniques you can apply to help in different situations.

Box Breathing

Also known as “Navy SEAL breathing,” this is for the moments when you need to chill the f*ck out. It’s a square-shaped breathing pattern.

What It’s For

  • Calming the nervous system
  • Improving focus
  • Managing anxiety (for when sh*t gets real)

How to Do It

  1. Inhale slowly for 4 seconds.
  2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
  3. Exhale slowly for 4 seconds.
  4. Hold again for 4 seconds.
  5. Repeat the cycle for 5-10 minutes.

Key Benefits

  • Steadies your mind (like a mental reset button)
  • Sharpens focus and concentration
  • Relieves tension faster than you can say “f*ck this”

Famous User: Used by U.S. Navy SEALs for mission prep.

Personal Experience: I use this all the time. Before taking off on a plane, after receiving negative news, when I drop and break something etc.

4-7-8 Breathing

This one’s the sleep ninja. Dr. Andrew Weil popularized it as a way to knock yourself out (in a good way).

What It’s For

  • Falling asleep faster
  • Reducing stress
  • Lowering blood pressure

How to Do It

  1. Inhale quietly through your nose for 4 seconds.
  2. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
  3. Exhale completely through your mouth for 8 seconds.
  4. Repeat the cycle 4-6 times.

Key Benefits

  • Knocks you out (in a calm, soothing way)
  • Lowers stress faster than a cold beer
  • Helps regulate your heart rate

Famous User: Dr. Andrew Weil promotes this method; many insomniacs swear by it.

Holotropic Breathing

This is some deep sh*t for self-discovery and emotional healing. Invented by Stanislav Grof, it’s like meditation on steroids.

What It’s For

  • Emotional release
  • Deep self-exploration
  • Healing trauma (digging up that old sh*t)

How to Do It

  1. Lie down and close your eyes.
  2. Start breathing quickly and deeply without pausing.
  3. Let your body move freely as emotions arise.
  4. Continue for 30-60 minutes.
  5. Allow yourself to process whatever the f*ck comes up.

Key Benefits

  • Deep healing (like ripping off an emotional Band-Aid)
  • Heightened self-awareness
  • Access to altered states of consciousness without drugs

Famous User: Leonard Orr, a pioneer in breathwork, practiced variations of this technique.

Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)

Sounds complicated, but it’s just a fancy way of saying, “Breathe in one side, breathe out the other.” Perfect for when you feel unbalanced as f*ck.

What It’s For

  • Balancing left and right brain activity
  • Calming the mind
  • Clearing mental fog

How to Do It

  1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
  2. Close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale through the left.
  3. Close your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through the right.
  4. Inhale through the right nostril, then close it and exhale through the left.
  5. Continue for 5-10 minutes.

Key Benefits

  • Creates a sense of balance (great for those WTF days)
  • Clears your mind like a damn windshield wiper
  • Reduces anxiety

Famous User: Steve Jobs was rumored to be a fan of this technique.

Breath of Fire

A rapid, rhythmic breathing technique used in Kundalini yoga. Think of it as breathwork’s version of a HIIT workout.

What It’s For

  • Detoxification
  • Boosting energy
  • Warming up the body (good for when you’re f*cking freezing)

How to Do It

  1. Sit with your spine straight.
  2. Inhale deeply, then exhale quickly and forcefully through your nose, pulling your belly in as you exhale.
  3. Continue with quick, rhythmic breaths for 1-3 minutes.

Key Benefits

  • Cleanses your system like a detox
  • Ignites energy faster than a triple espresso
  • Sharpens mental focus

Famous User: Madonna practices this as part of her yoga routine.

Coherent Breathing

Slow and steady wins the race. This one’s all about breathing at a controlled pace to relax your nervous system.

What It’s For

  • Anxiety reduction
  • Heart rate variability
  • General chill-the-f*ck-outness

How to Do It

  1. Inhale slowly for 5-6 seconds.
  2. Exhale for 5-6 seconds.
  3. Continue at this pace for at least 5 minutes.

Key Benefits

  • Calms the nervous system like a mental tranquilizer
  • Reduces stress levels
  • Improves overall heart health

Famous User: Dr. Stephen Elliott advocates this method for optimizing breathing efficiency.

The Wim Hof Method

If you’re into extreme sh*t, Wim Hof is your guy. Known as the “Iceman,” he uses this technique to endure freezing temperatures and boost mental resilience.

What It’s For

  • Stress reduction
  • Increased focus and energy
  • Cold tolerance (literally freezing your a** off)

How to Do It

  1. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable.
  2. Inhale deeply through your nose, filling your lungs fully.
  3. Exhale through your mouth, letting the air out completely.
  4. Repeat 30 times in quick succession (deep in, let go out).
  5. After the last breath, exhale fully and hold for as long as you can without straining.
  6. Inhale deeply again, hold for 15 seconds, then release.

Key Benefits

  • Builds resilience to physical and mental stress
  • Gives an energy kick that’s like an espresso shot without the cr*p
  • Helps you stay calm under pressure (even when life feels like a sh*tstorm)

Famous User: Wim Hof himself, and celebrities like Tony Robbins.